Can you really have it all?

In less than four days, 10 founders went from strangers to a deeply loving, connected group of friends.

We just completed the second annual Sun Valley Founders Retreat, and it's so heartening to me what's possible. I'm still buzzing from the energy of it.

It's incredible to see that, with intentionality and vulnerability, in just a few days a group of founders can release decades-old patterns, constriction and limiting beliefs, connect at the deepest level and truly feel seen by one another, and allow so much love to flow.

They supported one another to experience profound growth and healing, and walked away empowered to build their startups from a state of flow and fun instead of stress and fear.

But during the retreat, there was a universal thread among all the founders, a question I’ve been asked more and more:

Is it possible to experience inner peace while still being ambitious and successful?

Most had real fear around whether that was even possible. But they all unknowingly bought into the same limiting belief.

The Either/Or Trap

Over the years, I've had founders tell me, "Dave, I don't think I'm cut out for this."

"What makes you say that?" I’d ask.

The response is usually some version of: "It just feels like the only way to build a successful company is to sacrifice everything else: my health, my family, my peace of mind. And even then, I'm not sure it's enough."

That's a limiting belief so many founders have. And it leads to burnout, strained relationships, and businesses that might be successful on paper, but not when you look at the life of the founder.

This either/or, binary thinking typically shows up when we're below the line, operating from fear and scarcity. We think we have to choose. Peace or ambition. Family or company. Inner fulfillment or outer success.

And there are so many examples that seem to confirm it. Elon Musk. Travis Kalanick. Many fear-based founders and toxic cultures do seem to create massive valuations.

So here's what I said to the group at the retreat: Yes, we know you can build a big company from fear, lack and stress. But let's raise the bar.

Because you can also build a big company from love, presence and a beautiful inner state. Now THAT’S worth aiming for.

One of my core values I jokingly refer to as "surf and turf." I want to have it all. Both the steak and the fish.

I don't believe you have to choose between the inner path and the outer path. You can do the deep inner work and still build a thriving company. You can experience peace, stillness and presence AND still be fiercely ambitious.

That's what surf and turf means. Not settling. Not placing conditions on what's possible. Not buying into the false binary.

And I've seen it in action. I've seen what's actually possible with many of the unicorn founders I’ve coached.

For example, one founder I coach is building what's likely to be a billion-dollar company. And he's doing it while playing golf, spending time with his family, and enjoying his life.

His company is thriving. His culture is strong. And he's deeply fulfilled, not despite his success, but because of how he's building it.

He's not grinding himself into the ground. He's not sacrificing his health or his relationships. He's not operating from fear and scarcity.

He's building from a place of clarity, presence, and inspiration. And the results speak for themselves.

This is what becomes possible when you stop trying to force your way forward; when you stop believing that suffering is the price of success.

What No Book Could Teach

That's what we explored at the retreat.

We had the full range of the startup journey in the room.

Early stage founders. A founder who had already IPO'd and raised almost $100M for his next company. And a founder who just shut down his startup after raising more than $20M.

The founder who just shut down was experiencing the thing founders fear most. And he was totally okay.

It was so powerful for the other founders to be with someone going through that and to feel how much love and respect they had for him. It helped everyone separate their 'being' from their 'doing,' and recognize that their worth as a human being has nothing to do with what happens with their startup.

And the founder who achieved the "dream exit"? His experience of life was not somehow just totally perfect. Everyone really appreciated his humility and graciousness in wanting to continue his growth journey and share vulnerably about the challenges he still faced.

Both lessons landed viscerally in ways no book could teach.

Achieving outer success does not lead to lasting inner fulfillment. And experiencing outer failure does not lead to shame and a lifetime of misery.

Peace and success are completely independent of each other. Which means you don't have to sacrifice one for the other. You're free to pursue both.

Recognizing this helps release attachment to the outcome so you can enjoy the startup journey, and invites you to focus on the inner work that actually does make a lasting difference in your wellbeing.

For example, one of the most powerful practices we did at the retreat was the "love seat."

Each person sat for five minutes while the rest of the group shared what they appreciated about them. It sounds simple. But it was the thing people were most nervous about. Hearts racing. Voices shaking. Just how difficult it is for most of us to simply let love in.

That's an essential part of ‘having it all’ too: not just achieving, but receiving and actually letting yourself feel loved. Feel joy. Feel peace. Not deferring those feelings to some future milestone, but allowing yourself to experience them now.

Success Without Suffering

I have such deep appreciation for everyone who showed up and their level of commitment, engagement, curiosity, courage and heart.

One founder shared that the retreat was more powerful than a psychedelic journey because the profound shifts happened while sober and felt a lot more integrated and sustainable.

Hearts cracked open. People literally looked brighter and lighter by the end of the retreat.

Because you don't have to choose between peace and ambition.

You can build something meaningful without sacrificing your wellbeing. You can be deeply successful and deeply fulfilled. You can have it all.

That's surf and turf. Success without suffering.

With love,

- Dave Kashen

P.S. If you weren't able to join this year and want to explore being part of next year's retreat (January 20-24, 2027 in Sun Valley), applications are now open. Click here to learn more >>​

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