The Counterintuitive Path to Getting Everything You Want
"I feel less and less enthusiastic about going into work each day."
This is how one of my clients described his startup journey to me. Successful by every external measure: over $100 million raised, thousands of customers, over 200 employees. But something had shifted.
"In the early days, I loved every minute," he continued. "I was coding, talking to customers, solving real problems. Now I spend my time in meetings about meetings, managing politics, feeling pressure to grow just to satisfy investors."
This founder had fallen into the trap that catches almost everyone: He'd shifted from focusing on serving others to his own achievement.
And when you focus on your own achievement instead of serving others, you end up with less of both.
What Are You Building Towards? (How the Shift Happens)
The shift from service to self-focus rarely happens overnight. It's unconscious, gradual, and surprisingly common.
There's an old parable about three bricklayers working side by side to build a cathedral. When asked what they were doing:
The first said, "I'm laying bricks." The second said, "I'm building a wall." The third said, with pride and enthusiasm, "I'm creating a place for people to connect with the divine."
Same job. Completely different energy.
The quality of your experience isn't determined by what you're building but by who you're building it for.
When my client started his company, every line of code was in service of solving a problem he'd seen people struggle with. But somewhere along the way, every decision began feeling filtered through investor expectations, market pressures, and personal reputation.
He'd unconsciously shifted from "How can we help more people?" to "How can we look more successful?"
That shift is why he'd lost his fire.
The Personal Liberation of Service
But this shift isn't just philosophical. It transforms you at a psychological level.
Here's what most founders don't realize: The greatest beneficiary of your service isn't your customers. It's you.
I learned this from my own experience. The more I focus on contributing to others, and the less I focus on myself, the less I suffer. It's the ultimate win-win.
When you're obsessing over your own problems (Am I good enough to do this? Will I raise the next round? What if my competitor is gaining ground? Am I smart enough for this?) you're trapped in the prison of self-obsession.
Every setback feels personal. Every criticism cuts deep. Every uncertainty becomes anxiety about your worth.
But the moment you shift your attention to "How can I help?" something remarkable happens:
Your problems don't disappear but they stop consuming you. When we're focused on serving others, we are much happier and more engaged. The weight of "proving yourself" lifts, replaced by the lightness of contributing to something bigger.
Your brain literally can't be simultaneously worried about its own stories of inadequacy AND focused on solving someone else's problem. Service becomes your path out of the mental prison most entrepreneurs live in. The more selfless you are, the more (ego) self-less you become.
Paradoxically, the less your life is about you, the more fulfilling it will be.
How This Transforms Your Leadership
This internal transformation changes everything about how you lead.
Most founders operate from lack, constantly trying to 'get': "If I work harder, I'll get more results, then I'll feel more fulfilled."
But when you shift your entire team toward 'giving' – focusing on the impact you're having on others – something remarkable happens: both fulfillment and results increase.
This happens because when you shift your attention to service and giving, you also shift into a state of abundance. Because 'lack' is just a story your mind creates that you can choose to give your attention to or not.
The effects of this shows up in every aspect of how you run your company:
- Decisions become clearer (what serves our users vs. what serves our ego?)
- Teams become more energized (people want to be part of something meaningful)
- Customers become advocates (they feel genuinely served, not sold to)
- Motivation becomes sustainable (contribution outlasts any personal trophy)
Another paradox: The more you focus on giving, the more you end up receiving.
Finding Your True North
I walked this founder through the same exercise I do with every client who's lost their enthusiasm:
1. "What specific impact do you want to have on people's lives?"
Not revenue targets. Not growth metrics. Impact on actual humans.
His answer surprised him: "I want people to feel less overwhelmed by technology and more empowered by it."
2. "If you could wave a magic wand, what would the world look like in twenty years because your company existed?"
"Honestly? I'd want technology to feel more human. Less like it's using people, more like it's serving them."
3. "What is yours to do?"
This is the deepest question. Not what the market demands. Not what investors expect. What feels genuinely yours to contribute?
"I think I'm here to build tools that give people back their agency instead of taking it away."
The Transformation
The result for the client I mentioned at the beginning? The company started growing faster than it ever had. Team engagement scores hit all-time highs. The founder regained his enthusiasm.
Not because he focused more on getting results, but because he focused more on creating impact.
And now it's your turn...
Pick one decision you're facing right now. Before you make it, ask yourself:
"What choice would create the greatest positive impact for the people we serve?"
Not the most profitable. Not the most impressive. The most genuinely helpful.
Then do that thing.
I suspect you'll discover what my client did: When you stop trying to get everything you want and start giving everything you can, you end up with more than you ever imagined possible.
The market doesn't need another founder chasing personal achievement. But it desperately needs leaders who are committed to genuine service.
Which one will you choose to be?
With love,
