Your Fear Might Actually Be Excitement in Disguise
"It felt like a weighted vest," a founder said during our IGE community call. "When I think about acquiring this business, there's this heavy, pressing down sensation on my chest."
He’s no rookie – smart, capable, with a strong track record. He'd done his homework. The deal made sense financially. His due diligence was solid. Yet something was stopping him.
I'd been noticing the same pattern across several founders in our IGE community calls. Smart entrepreneurs getting paralyzed by "fear" right before making the moves they wanted to make.
But here’s what I told him:
"What if I told you that fear and excitement move through the exact same physiological pathways in your body?"
Silence stretched across the Zoom call, until he spoke again:
"I... I actually do think there's excitement there too.."
That conversation highlighted something I've seen over and over again: We've been taught to see fear and excitement as opposites – when they're actually two sides of the same coin.
Same Energy, Different Story
Here's what I've discovered through years of coaching founders: Fear and excitement are essentially the same energy flowing with different stories. Both are responses to the unknown future.
The racing heart, the butterflies, the surge of energy – it's the same raw material whether you're about to jump out of an airplane or pitch to your dream investor.
As one of our IGE coaches put it: "You sought out this fear. Entrepreneurs are professional thrill seekers. The person jumping out of an airplane is doing that because they want to feel that thrill of aliveness."
The only difference? The story you tell yourself about the future and what those sensations mean.
If your mind says, "This will go badly," you experience fear. If your mind says, "This will be amazing," you experience excitement.
Excitement is simply fear unresisted.
Fear Isn't the Problem – Resistance Is
The real issue isn't fear itself. It's our resistance to fear.
When we fight it, try to make it go away, distract ourselves from it or deny it, we also shut down the possibility that the same energy could carry us forward.
Here's the paradox I've seen over and over with founders: when you resist fear, you create more fear and you block excitement. What you resist persists.
My Five-Year Mistake (And What I Learned From It)
I'll be honest with you. I spent at least five years trying to welcome my feelings… so they would go away. I'd sit there thinking, "Okay, I'm feeling this fear, I'm welcoming it... now when does it leave?"
I thought I had to feel the fear so that I’d get to feel the joy on the other side. It doesn't work, and it's not actually welcoming.
True welcoming means being okay if the feeling never leaves. Someone once asked me: "If you had to experience that feeling for the rest of your life, would that be ok?"
My immediate reaction was "No way!" But that's the test of real acceptance. Of course feelings are dynamic so, ironically, the more you welcome them the more likely they are to move through you.
The moment you're welcoming something so it will change or leave, you're still trying to control it. That's resistance wearing a spiritual mask.
I realized that you can actually enjoy feeling fear (or anger or sadness) and the more I enjoy feeling the feeling, the easier it is to welcome. And the more I welcome the feeling, the more I can enjoy it. It’s an upward spiral.
Once I understood this, everything shifted. I stopped trying to manage my emotions and started actually opening my heart to them. That's when I discovered they could transform naturally – not because I was forcing them to, but because I was finally loving them.
A 3-Step Practice for Flipping Fear into Fuel
1. Welcome It
Instead of pushing fear away, invite it in. Say to yourself: "Welcome, fear. You're allowed to be here."
Locate exactly where it lives in your body – your chest, stomach, throat. Get curious about the actual physical experience. Is it pulsing? Squeezing? Weighing down? Give it a verb ending in "-ing."
Test Your Welcoming
Here's the real test: Ask yourself, "If I had to feel this exact sensation for the rest of my life, could I be okay with that?"
If your answer is no, you're still trying to manage the feeling rather than truly welcoming it. And that's okay. Just notice it. This isn't about getting it right. Just see where you actually are with the emotion.
And if you find it difficult to genuinely accept the emotion, then welcome the resistance to it in the same way. As Joe Hudson says, “if you can’t love the feeling, love the resistance."
2. Work With the Energy
Breathe into that spot where you feel the fear in your body. Bring your attention there without trying to change it.
Then shake it out – literally. We actually did a physical shaking exercise in that group call. For one full minute, everyone literally shook out the fear – arms, hips, legs, shoulders, the whole body.
It sounds ridiculous, but it works. Animals do this naturally after escaping danger.
3. Flip the Coin
Ask yourself: "If this were excitement, what would I be excited about?"
Remember: these mental stories about why you're scared – "The competitor will destroy us," "I'll lose everything," "I'm not qualified" – are just projections about possible futures that haven't happened. The fear itself is just energy moving through your body.
Same body sensations. Different story.
Why This Matters for Leadership
As leaders, the way we relate to our own fear sets the tone for our teams.
If we resist it, they'll mirror our caution and avoid risk. If we welcome it, they'll see what it looks like to meet uncertainty with presence, excitement and curiosity.
When you can truly welcome fear as excitement in disguise, three massive shifts happen:
You stop organizing your life around avoiding feelings. Most of our overthinking and procrastination is just elaborate strategies to avoid the physical sensations of fear that we don't want to feel.
You make decisions from presence instead of reaction. Fear-based decisions come from trying to control imaginary futures. Excitement-based decisions come from moving toward what you actually want.
You reclaim your natural aliveness. Remember: you chose this path because some part of you loves the intensity. You get to feel scared. You get to be in the arena.
Your Practice This Week
Next time you notice fear arise – about a decision, a conversation, or an opportunity – pause and try this:
- Get still and locate the sensation in your body
- Welcome it: "Welcome, fear!"
- Ask: "If this is excitement, what would I be excited about?"
You don't have to wait for fear to disappear before moving forward. You can flip the coin.
Because what if the thing that scares you most is actually pointing toward what you want most?
What if your fear is actually excitement wearing a disguise?
With love,
- Dave Kashen
P.S. We're hosting a retreat in Austin this September focused on breakthroughs like this – transforming the emotions that hold you back while wake surfing and enjoying time on the lake. If you're ready to stop letting fear run your business decisions, learn more about our Austin retreat HERE.
